I’m sat procrastinating, full of self-doubt. Thinking of what else I can do instead of starting this. Why bother, will it be good enough? Will someone want to read this? Whose going to be interested. I have spent so much time thinking if I should. Self-doubt, why is it always there, always chipping away at me.
How much of a failure will I feel if no one is interested? What do I do with any negative feedback, the list of negative thoughts seems endless.
It`s funny how through my counsellor training, those thoughts of never feeling good enough surfaced time and time again. Comparing myself with me peers. I felt like I was not doing good enough, or understanding enough. Am I making it up as I go along, just winging it. Surely at some point, someone will discover how phoney I am. All these thoughts playing on my mind making me insecure.
Why do I feel like this? Because obviously all these other successful people don’t feel like this, so it must be me. Where do these feelings of mine come from?
Exploring this with my peers, I learnt that they all felt the same. The people I had envied, the successful academics in the room all felt they weren’t good enough.
Someone said it was a generational thing. We were having a discussion and there were several people involved. Age ranges from mid-20`s to early 60`s and we all felt the same. We all had that niggling doubt at the back of our minds of not being good enough.
So, no it`s not possible that its generational. What is it then and where does it come from?
Do we all have these feelings of doubt?
Writing that word, fills me with anxiety, its a powerful word.
Doubt can cast a shadow over our accomplishments, lurking just over our shoulders, hiding in the bushes.
How can we dispel those doubts, what can we focus on to reduce its impact on us?
Where does self-doubt come from?
The little things people say to us matter. Those words we say to others matter. Those words stick, they leave an impression on us. “That looks ok” could maybe be become “that looks great” “Couldn’t you do better if you tried harder” could be “You tried so hard, well done”
Being aware of what we say to others is important so we can understand how our words make a huge difference to other people. They can have a negative or positive impact, in the same way our actions towards each other leave their mark.
Its our understanding of this that can change how we act towards others.
Positivity and Evidence;
I can gather evidence to disprove these negative thoughts. I can look for things I have achieved, personally and professionally.
Focusing on the positive energies, and being grateful for what I have, who I love, and those who love me.
Rejoicing in my physical, emotional, and spiritual health, my body, my mind and my soul.
Without the dark there can be no light. Without negative there would be no positive.
So, with my doubt comes courage, a fear tinged with excitement of new possibilities.
New learnings/teachings, believing in the possibilities of tomorrow, the growth from yesterday.